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Dielive

by Winston Smith

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1.
I bet you compare yourself all day, with some ideal, with what others look and what they have to say. You know your mind is hardly ever at ease, always some kind of restlessness that won't cease. I bet you compare the world all day, with some ideal, with opinions, with what you think it should be. You are so blind to the storms in your heart, thinking mankind is different from what you are. You know it's a mystery to me why none of you knows about his disease or tries to find some cure. I guess you're somewhat used to pain by now, but I still think some in this crowd, at least some of you feel there's something wrong right now. Do you feel there's something wrong right now? I really wish these songs could save just one soul. Don't you feel dissatisfied deep down? I bet you crave to hear what I found out. (You are comparing yourself all the time with somebody else. So gradually you are destroying your own capacity, your own vitality, your own strength. You are merely imitating, right?)
2.
The Tempest 02:41
The rain is lashing against the window pane as I look through the glass, forceful lightnings tearing the heavens apart. Too afraid to be the leaf on the tree, too afraid to be nothing and nobody, so I tremble and shake and I lose sanity and just yell at the storm in front of me. Thunderbolts flashing across the darkened skies as I feel wicked pain, somewhere along the lines they set my heart on fire, there's sorrow and anguish. I fight the grief to gain control again, which provokes the weather to tighten up the chains it put around my heart and neck and I'm frightened enough to constantly fight back. Will it calm the sea if I keep throwing stones into the the tidal waves? Will it calm the sea if I keep throwing stones into the the tidal waves of my own?
3.
Lebenswerk 03:37
Du blätterst dein Buch vor dich hin, denkst über keine Zeile wirklich nach, übersiehst wo die Kommas stehen und durchlebst dein Leben wie im Schlaf. Du kennst erst den Anfang deiner Geschichte, doch wünschst dir insgeheim schon um tausend Erfahrungen, hundert Momente und etliche Jahre reifer zu sein. Hast du erst den Kern des Schauspiels erreicht, spürst du vielleicht in deiner Brust, dass alle Zeit der Welt nicht ausreicht, liest man die Kapitel unbewusst. Du hetzt gerne schnell durch dein Buch, doch wenn du stets auf diese Weise denkst, was wird aus der Gegenwart, die du pausenlos verschenkst? Du kennst erst den Anfang deiner Geschichte, doch wünschst dir insgeheim, schon um tausend Enttäuschungen, Misserfolge, zerstörte Träume reifer zu sein. Hast du erst den Kern des Schauspiels erreicht, spürst du vielleicht in deiner Brust, dass alle Zeit der Welt nicht ausreicht, liest man die Kapitel unbewusst. Überfliegst die Seiten nur achtlos, ganz ohne Ziel und ohne Sinn. Kannst du denn überhaupt noch die Handlung deiner Geschichte nachvollziehen? Tief in einem Netz aus Konstruktionen verborgen, frag' ich dich: "Wann kommt endlich dieses Morgen, von dem du sprichst, an dem du lebst, an dem du dein Leben an die Hand nimmst und endlich jeden Weg mit ihm gehst?"
4.
Unbound 02:21
Is there at all anything but this moment? Is maybe your name and your thoughts and your fears all made up? Is time something definite? Is life what we think it is, endless cravings? When you say you know, what do you know? A bunch of words and ideas, concepts worth nothing. Drop all convictions, shed your opinions, for you don't need them, they tie you down. Is there at all anything but this moment? Is maybe your past and future just made up in your head? Are we merely running away? Trying everything not to face the pain? Who is this "me"? When you say you know, what do you know? A bunch of words and ideas, concepts worth nothing. Drop all convictions, shed your opinions, for you don't need them, they tie you down. Bound to a centre, a meaningless anchor, burdened by thousand yesterdays.
5.
Dear Neil Perry, this letter isn't about your suicide. Much more about what happened before you died, how horribly you got brutalized. Also thereby, I want to confess that I had to cry, watching all the joy vanish from your eyes. I hope you were the last of us who had to die. And I must admit my hands feel shaky singing this song, I can feel the terror all along. If you have a child, let her be wild, let him dance with the wind, just make her smile. Dear Neil Perry, I'm not writing you because I share your fate, although I can't deny that I can relate. My god, so many children have to face equal hate. That's why I'm writing you this, I'm mainly concerned about all the other kids, those kids that don't know what it feels to be kissed. I wish I could write about something different. And I must admit, my hands feel shaky singing this song, I can feel the terror all along. If you have a child, let her be wild, let him dance with the wind, just make her smile. Just for a while, give her a hug, tell him he's alright, help her to dream, love him with ease, just love them please. ("Dir werden Möglichkeiten geboten, von denen ich noch nicht einmal träumen konnte", schrie Mr. Perry, "ich lasse nicht zu, dass du sie mit Füßen trittst". Damit stackste er aus dem Zimmer. Einen Augenblick sah es so aus, als wollte Neils Mutter etwas sagen, aber dann ging sie schweigend hinter ihrem Mann her. Neil blieb allein zurück. Ihm war, als wäre er keiner Gefühlsbewegung mehr fähig.) Dear Neil Perry, I hope by now you managed to find some peace and I really, really wish all kids could find some form of release. Yours sincerely, Winston
6.
This is a manifest, for the last time I've fallen into this trap, stay away with all your authority and probably I'll tame mine. Arrogance is choking me to sleep, desire is my pillow, hidden like a wall of glass, it's hidden in the shadows. I'm the creator of this pain in my chest, could sing about so many things I guess the most important is: This song is just a reminder for me, the problem is never the problem, it's my attitude more than anything. I've fooled myself in the past and probably I'll fool myself again but what counts is singing this song 'till the end. This is a manifest, not the first time I feel like my bones would snap, stay away with all of your ignorance and probably I'll catch mine. Security is slowly crushing me, ambition is my poison, when will you learn that it's not about experiences, son? I'm the creator of this pain in my chest, could sing about so many things I guess the most important is: This song is just a reminder for me, the problem is never the problem, it's my attitude more than anything. I've fooled myself in the past and probably I'll fool myself again but what counts is singing this song 'till the end. There is a place where all trouble ends, just remember you know nothing.
7.
Interlude 01:29
Mann an der Werkbank! Wenn sie wieder kommen und dir sagen, du sollst statt Kochgeschirren und Wasserrohren Kanonen und Handgranaten ziehen, Mann an der Werkbank, sag NEIN! Und Mutter, Mutter in Deutschland, Mutter in der Ukraine! Wenn sie wieder kommen und dir sagen, du sollst Kinder gebären, Jungen für die Schützengräben, Mädchen für die Spitäler, Mutter in Deutschland, Mutter in der Ukraine, sag NEIN! Mann im Labor, Mann am Katheder! Wenn sie wiederkommen und dir sagen, du sollst den neuen Tod für das alte Leben erfinden, Mann im Labor, Mann am Katheder, sag NEIN! Pfarrer auf der Kanzel, Hr. Gauck! Wenn sie wieder kommen und dir sagen, du sollst die Waffen segnen und den Krieg rechtfertigen, Pfarrer auf der Kanzel, sag NEIN! Denn wenn ihr nicht nein sagt, wird das immerzu so weitergehen!
8.
No One 04:25
They don't want you to change. No one wants you to be a better person. Not your friends, nor your love, nor your parents, nor your teachers. They have caught themselves in this descending spiral, of money, power, fear and pleasure. We have caught ourselves in this descending spiral. No one can help you but yourself. They don't want you to change, they merely want you to function according to what they think is right. They don't want you to take a road less travelled by and thus make all the difference. They don't want you to change. No one wants you to be a better person. Not the pope, nor your boss, nor your guru, nor your leaders. They like to be mechanical. No one wants you to change, they merely want you to function according to what they think is right. They don't want you to take a road less travelled by and thus make all the difference. (They have nothing real about them. And getting so tired of playing society's game, playing your inner game... getting so weary of that, that right in the middle of it you throw down the cards regardless of what they're going to think about you.) No one wants you to change, they merely want you to function according to what they think is right. Please be safe, have a job and lots of money, stay in line, don't be a fool, follow the rules and you'll be fine. Just kill someone, don't even bother what that is you will become, and just forget about that last shred of humanity inside your head. (You won't want anything to do with their game, you have something far more too important to do which is to find yourself and to live your own life. Stop throwing it away to those people who are stealing it. Stay home and learn to live your own life. Stay home and be real. Stay home and be at peace. Stay home and find the real purpose of you being here on earth.)
9.
Ok, Maske ab, Theater aus, es reicht, mir ist es ab jetzt scheissegal mit wem du mich vergleichst, mir ist es nicht mal wichtig, was du von mir hälst, der Bote ist egal, die Botschaft ist was zählt. Weißt du, ich mach mir oft Gedanken um die Welt, und manchmal raubt mir das den Schlaf, die ganze Jagd nach Geld, keiner glücklich, keiner traurig, keiner schuldbewusst, wenn er Billigware einkauft beim Sonderschluss. Den Preis hat dann ein anderer bezahlt, mit Blut oder Krankheit, teilweise schon mit elf Jahren. Wisst ihr eigentlich wie jung die Kinder sind, die eure Schuhe produzieren, wenn ihr gemütlich grinst. Wir beuten Menschen aus, nehmen Selbstmord in Kauf, 300.000 indische Bauern hängten sich auf, diese GVOs nehmen tatsächlich Menschenleben, egal was Bayer sagt, ihr braucht bloss hinzusehen. Bildung sollte kritische Denker produzieren und nicht Schablonendenker, Drohnenlenker, Henker ohne Hirn. Doch unsere Erziehung bedeutet nicht zu fragen, sondern Kindern beizubringen alles nachzusagen. Zum Beispiel, dass Militäreinsätze Menschen retten, oder dass es Zuchttieren gut geht in ihren Ketten, oder dass es ok ist, wenn Ikea keine Steuern zahlt, oder dass die Drohnenmorde in Afghanistan wichtig waren. (Was soll das? Befehl ist Befehl. - Das reichste 1% in Deutschland verfügt über 34% dieses gesamten Barvermögens. - Es gibt keine Wahlen, es gibt keine legale Opposition, es gibt Todesurteile, es gibt Folter, es gibt öffentliche Auspeitschungen, es gibt das Abhacken von Händen und dahin liefern Sie Waffen, dahin liefern sie Panzer?! Das ist doch nicht zu fassen! - Stattdessen drohen im Laufe des Jahres bis zu 450.000 nigerianische Kinder zu sterben.) Ok, soweit zur Ordnung und dem Chaos unsrer Welt, und ich hab mir dieses Lied so vorgestellt, dass es diesmal keine billigen Ausreden gibt, nicht das System, die Regierung, diese Ausländer, Geld, Banken oder Rockefeller - sondern du und ich. Wir sind komplett für dieses Trümmerfeld verantwortlich, zieh dich nicht so einfach raus, so billig läuft das nicht, wir leben unser Leben wie die letzten Barbaren und wundern uns warum es so viele Flüchtlinge sind. Die bittere Wahrheit ist, jetzt wirds total hässlich, denn ab jetzt gibt es nur noch Fakten und dann dich und mich, und Fakt ist, dass wir von Angst und Neid zerfressen sind, Fakt ist, dass du das weitergibst an dein Kind. Fakt ist auch, dass du dein Leben verschenkst, du denkst, du hast ewig Zeit und deshalb bleibst du hängen, da draußen gibts keinen Feind, schmeiss das Trugbild hin, das was dich kämpfen lässt, das ist in dir drin. Und wenn du soweit bist, dann akzeptier', dass du stirbst, lerne loszulassen, du brauchst nichts, was du verlierst. Dann bist du endlich allein mit deiner Unsicherheit und hörst auf mit deiner Arroganz und Klugscheisserei. Und das ist dann der Punkt, an dem du mich verstehst, du hörst auf zu fliehen und lernst, dich dem Schmerz zu stellen, und ich weiß, dass du dann siehst, jeder für sich, du bist verdammt nochmal genauso verantwortlich wie ich.
10.
Once again the flood is crashing in and it's difficult not to drown in the waves of discontent. It's close to eight, I'm going back and forth, it's pretty easy to confuse lust for love. I'm hella sure that fear is following my every step, it's creeping onto that skin and finding its way in. This pursuit of happiness is haunting this poor child. This hunt for fun is less a game than it's a fight. Heavy thoughts are rushing through, pouring salt into my every wound. Maybe I should let it tell its story to me and start to listen carefully. I heard them say that numbing down the pain is how to properly play this game. But then these shadows, then they stay, then these shadows, they won't go away. The sands of time, they won't and can't do anything to kill this pain. Heavy thoughts are rushing through, pouring salt into my every wound. Maybe I should let it tell its story to me and start to listen carefully.
11.
Probably no one has asked you such a thing, but why do you suffer? Maybe you take it for granted and think that it is natural, i don't know. But what I know is, this thing is burning, it's burning inside all of us. So why do you clench your fists? I admit mine is clenched too, but now I let go of the pain. Why are we so afraid to simply face the pain within? Why do we hold onto control while everything is floating on the wind? Clinging to something is not what will save you, it's the reason for the fall. And you can't end this suffering as you do not stop resisting everything. Why are we so afraid to simply face the pain within? Why do we hold onto control while everything is floating on the wind? Why are we so afraid to face these actualities? Why do we hold onto control while we could live our lives at ease? Why are we so afraid? (It's an insane world, you understand? There is no sanity in the political world, in the religious world - right? - in the economic world, there is no sanity. Don't be corrupt, inside, don't seek vanity, pride, don't say 'I am superior to somebody else'. You know you learn a great deal when there is humility. You know the word 'humility'? You learn a great deal if you are really humble. But if you are merely seeking success, money, money, money, power, position, status, you understand, then you are beginning with corruption. You might be poor, be poor, who cares. That's why it is important for you, for all of you, to find your own talent and stick to it even though it doesn't bring you success, fame, and all that, which is all nonsense anyhow because we are all going to die. You understand, old boy? While you live, live, not with all the rubbish that is going on. - Sir, why don't people realise this? Because they don't think, they don't feel, they are thinking about themselves all the time, their job, their administration, their work. You understand? They are not interested in this. Very few are...)

about

All lyrics and songs written and performed by Winston Smith.
Produced, mixed and recorded by Jonas Piknias at his studio.
Artwork designed by Winston Smith and Pauline Plettau-Vietz.
Drawings done by Lena Pfeuffer.

Additional Vocals on "A Mystery To Me" and "Why Are We So Afraid?" by Lena Pfeuffer, Mommy Winston, Pauline Plettau-Vietz, Raphael Hussl, Stefan Heuring and Ilja Schneider.

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released July 1, 2017

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Winston Smith Würzburg, Germany

Campfire Indiefolk

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